i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
