Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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