I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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