people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
