Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Randomize
