My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
