We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
