as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
