First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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