I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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