We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
