I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
