worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
