okay pat passed out under dana's car
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
