if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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