...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
