It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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