smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
