Sry I called you an 8
there was a trapeze. enough said
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
