If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
