never play flip cup with pint glasses
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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