There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
