I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize