Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
