Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
