Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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