I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
