He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
