So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
