I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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