STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
