She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
