Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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