I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
