tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
