she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
