I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
