I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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