He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
