beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
