We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
false alarm, still single
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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