Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
no, he came in my armpit
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
