weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
