I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
