It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
