Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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