Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
