Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
