Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
