Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize