He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
