I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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