I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Randomize
