her vagine was all disorganized.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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