she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
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