Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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