i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
