areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
