it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
