I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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