I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
