I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize