you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
