So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
