There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
