I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
