...so i touched it.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
