Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
