i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
