Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
