'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm passing your future prison.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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