and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
