Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
