he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
