So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
