Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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