apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
