Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
