I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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