just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
