nut hugger
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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