Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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