Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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